Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Snow Bright

 January 2010 
...but while the honest ones 
shrank back from
the touch of snow
the liars
were where the truth was

—Rg Gregory—

For all you fellow winter lovers out there, as you will mournfully recall, last year was quite a disappointment for us in the Midwest. We only had two major snowfalls, lots of warmth and sunshine. It was hideous. A real downer.

This year, we're not going to repeat last year's mistakes. I've done my research and with proper application, I suspect this may be the best year of all. But I'm going to need your help. The following have been extensively studied and are scientifically proven methods for increasing the volume of granular material this year:
  • Sleep with your pajamas inside out
  • Leave ice cubes on the porch
  • Place a spoon under the pillow [*note: some studies suggest freezing the spoon first]
  • Place a white crayon in the freezer
  • Run around a table 4 times
  • Flush an ice cube down your toilet
Needless to say, I will be doing my own research including repeating any snow dances I might discover on YouTube. Stay strong, keep your spirits up and if you have any other suggestions LET ME KNOW!!

Love and snow flurries,
MK
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